Tobi's Bad Day
by Blondest Blondie of Them All
Summary: Poor Tobi, he's having a bad day. But his pain is our enjoyment. You will be laughing your socks off at poor Tobi's bad day. Rated T for mild sexual content and swearing.
1. Deidara ane Sasori

"Lalalalalalala," Tobi sang as he skipped down the hallway to Deidara's room.

"Tobi hopes Deidara will help Tobi. Tobi really needs Deidara's help. Tobi can't decide if Tobi should were Tobi's robe today or just go naked like yesterday. But than again, Lord Pain didn't like Tobi's birthday suit yesterday. Hmmm, Tobi really hopes Deidara will help Tobi decide," Tobi said to himself. He skipped up to Deidara's door and banged on it before barging in.

"Deidara, Tobi- AHHHHHHHHH! TOBI'S EYES!" Tobi screamed when he saw Deidara and Sasori making out, butt naked in Deidara's bed ( and that's not all they were doing).

"TOBI IS BLIND, AHHHHHHHH!" Tobi screamed covering his eye hole.

"Well, Tobi you should have knocked!" Deidara said, angrily sitting up and putting his arm protectively around Sasori.

Tobi didn't hear, though. He was still screaming and covering his eye hole. Tobi turned around and tried to race out the door, but… he well, he missed the door and hit the frame knocking himself unconscious.

Oh, poor Tobi. He's having a bad day.


	2. Bathroom Brake

"Ugh, Mommy?" Tobi said when he awoke. He sat up and looked around. His memory came rushing to him. He squealed and looked around. No Deidara or Sasori in sight. Tobi let out a sigh of relief.

"That was really awkward for Tobi. Tobi will never be able to look at Deidara or Sasori the same way again. But in a way Tobi is not surprised, Tobi has always had his suspicions," Tobi said trying to play off his embarrassment. He stood up and doubled over.

'Tobi has to PEE!" Tobi cried and ran for the bathroom down the hall. He turned the handle only to find it locked.

"No! Open the door! Tobi really, really, REALLY has to PEE!" Tobi yelled banging on the door. He could hear the shower water running, which of course made him have to go worse.

"Please open the door and let Tobi pee!" Tobi begged through the door. The shower water turned off and there were footsteps coming to the door. The door opened to reveal a dripping wet Konan wrapped in a towel. Tobi stood there dumb founded, he had not expected this.

"Tobi, don't you have to come in and use the bathroom," Konan said sweetly and flirtatiously.

"Uhhhhhhhhhh," was all Tobi could say.

"Tobi, why the HELL are you looking at my girlfriend!" Lord Pain said furiously. Tobi whirled around screaming like a little girl. Lord Pain approached Tobi slowly, cracking his knuckles.

"No Lord Pain! Tobi would never! Tobi is a good boy. Tobi just had to pee!" Tobi said desperately trying to calm his leader while backing away.

"Uh-huh, and Orochimaro isn't gay!" Lord Pain yelled as he lunged for Tobi.

Tobi once again impersonated a small and frightened female child and ran for it. But Lord Pain caught the edge of Tobi's robe and…

(SCENE TO VIOLANT TO DESCRIBE)

"That will teach you to look at my girl!" Lord Pain said shaking his fist at Tobi with his other arm around Konan. Tobi limps away. Poor Tobi, he's having a really bad day (and it's about to get worse).


	3. Hidan's 'Help'

Tobi limped to the living room and laid down on the couch. He sat there trying not to move, because it hurt a lot. Tobi started sniffling, "Why does this always happen to Tobi?" Tobi asked himself.

"What always happens to Tobi?" asked Hidan who popped up out of no where . Tobi screamed, again.

"Hidan! You scared Tobi!" Tobi reprimanded the S-rank criminal.

"Sorry," Hidan said not sorry at all, "Now what always happens to you?" Hidan asked again flopping down onto the couch.

"Bad things! First Tobi walks in on Deidara and Sasori while the are in BED!"

"I knew it," Hidan mumbled to himself.

"Then, Tobi has to pee, but Konan is in the shower. Only Tobi didn't know it was Konan. But Lord Pain thought Tobi was trying to ' take a peek' at Konan and beat up poor Tobi. And Tobi still has to PEE!" Tobi finished waving his arms around for emphasis.

"Well, come here. I'll make you feel better," Hidan said seductively while he sat on Tobi. He rips off Tobi's robe.

"RAPE! RAPE! FIRE! FIRE!" Tobi screamed, but no one came to his rescue.

Poor Tobi, he's having a really, REALLY, very, VERY bad day.

** Um, so I would like to explain the part where Tobi is screaming 'FIRE!'. So the point is, if some one yells 'RAPE!' no one will come, but if you yell 'FIRE' everyone will come running, because no one wants to see someone get raped but everyone wants to see something burn! Teehee!**


	4. Yen To The Rescue Or Not

Yen walked in yelling, "I'm here for a visit- Tobi, Oh my goodness! What's happened to you!" Yen runs to the half-naked sobbing Akatski member huddled in the corner rocking back and fourth. When Tobi saw Yen he through himself into her arms and sobbed harder. Yen hugs him and leads him over to the couch.

"First, Tobi sees Deidara in bed with Sasori! Next, Lord Pain beats the poopie out of Tobi for trying to look at Konan while she was in the shower, when really Tobi just had to PEE! Then, just now Hidan raped poor Tobi! Tobi lost his virginity to a MAN!" Tobi sobbed and hiccupped out the whole story. He buried his head into yen's shoulder.

"Tobi, what are you doing to Yen!" Itachi asked angrily. Tobi screamed (yes, he screamed again) and grabbed Yen shirt.

"No, Itachi! It's okay. I was just comfort- TOBI, WHERE THE **HELL**IS YOUR HAND!" Yen hollers.

When Itachi startled Tobi and he grabbed her shirt he accidentally grabbed her… um… 'lady stuff up top'.

Tobi squealed and ripped his hand away.

"Tobi is so sorry Yen. Tobi will have a talk with his hand," Tobi starts yelling at his hand, "You can **NOT** touch Yens boobies! It is **NOT** okay!" Then Tobi starts slapping his hand with his other hand.

"_Tobi's hand is sorry, Tobi. Tobi's hand will not do it again,_" Tobi said is a high voice trying to make it look like his hand said it.

"There Yen! You see! It's all better!" Tobi said, nervously. He looked up from his hand to see two very pissed off Sharingone activated Uchias. Tobi gulped and turned to Itachi in one last futile effort to save himself.

"You believe Tobi, right Itachi," Tobi asked in a small voice.

"No, Tobi. I can't say I do," Itachi replied.

"MONGACKO SHARINGONE!" Itachi and Yen yelled together. Then, for the ump-teenth time that day Tobi once again screamed like a little girl.

Poor tobi, he's having a truly offal day. Teehee!

**Okay, the story's over now. I hope you like it!**


	5. Author's Note

** Okay, so I've gotten a lot of reviews, okay not a lot but anyway, saying they don't want this story to be over. So tanks to my bff Black Rose 1995 I will continue with stories along the same lines like, Hidan's Bad Day, itachi's Bad Day, etc. I no longer know how far this thing will go or when I will have time to write them, but keep your eye out and I will try to have them up soon. Ttyl!**


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